If Suicide was Painless...

Yesterday was soooo much fun. It seems my family is coping well. We got together at my moms and had spaghetti and some yummy chocolate cake and ice cream. Russell and I got him a GC to Sonic. I was struggling w/ his gift. I hope he likes it. We left there and headed over to the in-laws. Jason and Angela (BIL&SIL) were there, obviously since it was Jason bday party, but so was Amy and William(SIL&nephew). We had a good time over there too. I wasnt looking forward to it at first. Apparently Russells parents (I really think its just his mom) think I dont like them bc I never come over. I admit I didnt make it over for Mothers day. She's not my mom! I saw my mom. But then I forgot to call too. Oops. I guess I've missed out on some of their other family stuff, but I dont see what the big deal is. Russell doesnt go to every family function that my fam has. My fam doesnt think he doesnt like them. I just always feel so awkward over there. I get really nervous right before we get there. Is it going to be weird this time? Are they going to lecture us for something? Are they going to comment on something in a negative way?
But like I said yesterday was nice. We all got along. No weirdness.
What was really weird is I had a strange dream Friday night. I dreamt that my gpa was suicidal and he wouldnt listen to anyone. Everyone in the family had been talking to him and telling him that even though we were upset about some of the stuff that was going on we loved him, etc. He wouldnt listen. He kept saying he was better off dead and was acting all weird. He has a hand gun so everyone was trying to keep him from going off by himself. Finally I had a chance to talk to him and got the gun from him. I hate dreams like that.
I am so addicted to Rockband. I cant wait till my days off so I can play for the whole day. Anyway, better get back to work...