The past 24 hrs have been terrible.

Ryland was picked up Saturday afternoon.

Ryland was supposed to spend the weekend w/ me but when I went to get him on Friday he was sick. He felt really bad and kept saying he was sorry. We rescheduled for Saturday. Yeah that didnt really work out.

Saturday morning was Womens Celebration at my church. It was nice. And right after that was Melodi's 3rd bday party at Chuck E Cheese's. Had a blasty blast there. Afterwards my mom had asked if me and Krystal wanted to go see Chaz. When we got there the stupid lady said Krystal and I couldnt see him bc we weren't on the list. Super lame. She did bend the rules alittle and let us waive to him thru like 40 windows.

So sad...

When we got back to the car my mom checked her messages and my dad had said they came and took Ryland. Last night was awful for me. I tried to drink my pain away but that never helps. I finally went to bed around 3am. I just kept thinking about the memories I have w/ him. Everything we've done together.

So much has changed in just a few days.... I'm not going to do it to myself again right now.

My mom is going to add me to the visitors list tomorrow and I'm going after work. She's going to try and add Krystal and Russell too.

Blah...